I just want to explain why I have been absent from my blog for the last month, I have had a pretty horrible couple of months as one of my beautiful friends passed away over christmas aged just 18.
She died from sudden adult death syndrome, and had no symptoms, one night she simply collapsed in a drive and didn't wake up again.
Its a horrible feeling losing a friend so young, something that has impacted me far more than I ever thought it would. I cry everyday, and I can't look at pictures of her, look at her facebook or even hear her name without welling up.
I know I'll be ok, its only been a month so I can't expect to feel great just yet, I just find instead of getting easier, I am noticing the void that it left behind more and more.
R.I.P my darling, as a Christian I have hope in knowing you are up their in the arms of God, and knowing that you will never have to go through many of the pains people experience in this life, instead you are in eternal happiness, never to feel sadness again.
She was possibly one of the most amazing people you could have ever met, truly kind, loving, warm, welcoming, funny, outspoken, unique, and beautiful. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart, no one ever had a bad word to say about her, and she never had a bad one to say about anybody else.
One thing I would say if you ever have the misfortune of going through this, DON'T DO WHAT I DID. I withdrew, I wouldn't tell anyone about what happened, I just kept it quiet and carried on like everything was normal. But it wasn't, and after about a week it started to get lonely, by this point, I felt like only a few people cared about me, most of which were far far away at university, and I was on my own apart from a couple of people from my class and my Mum. When I needed support most I didn't have any, because I gave the impression that everything was just hunky dory!
So yeah, if you do have to go through something similar, or even something like a break up or something, please open up to your friends, it may be tempting to go into your little shell, but it won't work trust me. You need to cry, and open up, and have cuddles from friends, its all part of it.
Anyway sorry that this is such a depressing post, just thought it may help some people going through hard times, and of course I wanted to pay tribute to my beautiful friend.
I hope you are all well, and I am always here to chat, just comment!
Love you all and will be putting up a normal post next!
Have a great week and happy February!